Journey to the Stars
by hannahx3
Summary: What happens when Bella gets involved in sex, drugs, alcohal, and everything following when Edward leaves? Can she turn her life around? **someone dies, a few lemons that will be occuring.** trust me. you will love it. rated M.
1. Chapter One

Right now. this is rated T for Teen. But later in the story, it's gonna become M. for a few reasons. But if you can't read M. don't start. it will get you hooked.

Expect some F Bombs. and all the other words pretty much.

not the same old Bella anymore.

**Preface;**

_**Did I ever expect to get my self in so deep? **_

No, I didn't.

_**Did I seriously expect this to happen to me again?**_

No, I didn't. Not like this anyways.

_**Did I ever even want to do this?**_

No, I didn't.

Millions of thoughts ran through my corrupted head. That's exactly what it was

A corrupted head. _Yes._ They corrupted me.

Its there fault.

Bitch came into my head again_. No Bella, enough self pity. Thats what got you here._

_Enough already. Now man up, and get your self out of this shit. Your better_

_than that. Would they would have wanted this? Come on now._

_Get out of this._

_**Could I get out? **_

No, I couldn't.

_**I was far to deep.**_

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_It will be as if I never existed._ Hah! Never existed my ass. It won't be as if you never existed, silly immature boy. I wanted to say I hated the Cullens. I wanted to say I hated Edward for leaving me alone, empty, and pretty much sitting here, rotting. He was the reason behind my misery. That's exactly how I felt; like no matter how hard I tried, Edward's face wouldn't leave me head. His taste wouldn't leave me lips. His love wouldn't leave my heart. That's why it wouldn't be as if you never existed, Edward Cullen. The love I felt for him never left me, prob'ly never even would.

I wanted to say I hated Alice for leaving me here too. She was supposedly my best friend. Chyeah. I let out a gust of air in anger and out of pure spite. But I didn't hate Alice, either. I loved her with all of my heart. I knew she loved me too. I just didn't know why she couldn't even say goodbye? She knew it would be hard enough with Edward going totally nuts and deciding to leave his so called soulmate. I said soulmate out loud with a small "pah!" before it. I rolled my eyes. Who the hell was I talking to?

I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower, the hottest temperature it could go. I took off my usual sweats and tee-shirt and bra and underwear, setting them into a pile in the corner of the room. I looked at myself before I went into the shower. What had happened to me? I looked like I'd just woken up from a coma. My hair was a greasy and knotted, losing 100% of its shine. I was paler than usual with big, puffy bags under my eyes. My eyes were bloodshot and red. I really had let myself go. Why even bother anymore? The only person I ever wanted to look good for was stupid Edward. He was gone, so it totally defeated the purpose.

I got out of the shower crying. Only god knows why. Actually, god might not have. There was no reason at all, no reason in the world, for me to be crying. Was I crying because I looked so ugly? Probably, I've been a fan of self pity these days. I've been so doom and gloom lately, trying to bring down everyone who was just a big ray of sunshine. People like, well people who acted like Alice.

I couldn't act like this anymore. I seriously needed a better way to cope with my life. It was Christmas break now. Months have passed Bella. Get over it already, geez! He's gone. Move on with your freaking life. That's what myself conscious told me. Get over it. But my heart told me no. I was hopefully devoted, though it did absolutely no good. I immediately thought of the movie _Grease._ Sandy, a poor innocent girl, loved a stupid, asshole boy, named Danny; nothing but a simple summer romance. Yeah, if only it was that simple. Well what would have happened if the poor innocent girl, loved a dazzling, gorgeous, amazing, smart, stupid, egotistical, malicious, asshole, _vampire_? Well, that plot wouldn't have worked very well.

Why couldn't life be easy? I want you to want me. I need you to need me. Want and need didn't quite cover it anymore. I don't want you to want me; I am begging you to want me. I don't need you to need me; I am demanding you to need me, I am requiring it. _Okay, seriously Bella. Get over yourself! Enough with the metaphors. I'm getting a headache. _What the hell; yeah, because myself conscious could totally get headaches. Maybe I'll name her or something. She was just like another person inside my head. What'a bitch that girl is.

I went into the kitchen, got the entire gallon of chocolate ice cream and went back into my room, still sobbing. What a shock, I got a bite-full on my plain white, long sleeve shirt. Oh well, who cares about life. I'll just grow up and live in a cardboard box. That's all my future has to hold anyways. _Oh shut up Bella. Clean yourself up, get back your job, and pull your shit together. You seriously need some better ways to cope with all of this. It's been long enough. _Shut up, get a life. Seriously. Don't you have someone else's head to stay in? _No, not really. You don't charge rent, it's a free home. I guess I'm a charity case. Oh well, yep! Here to stay, Isabella._ Wow, I had to be the most pathetic thing ever created, talking to myself conscious. Don't call me that. It's Bella. If you don't stop bugging me I'm going to put you out on the streets. By the way, I don't have a name for you, so I'll just call you bitch from now on. _That's fine, a nasty name is better than no name. Well, I doubt you have the authority to do that, but okay then, Bella. I'll shut up for a while, but you know damn right, that I'm correct._ And that was the end of bitch face up there. She wanted me to cope with my pain in a better way? I'd show her a better way.

I went to my drawer and took out my body care stuff; that hadn't been used in a while. I looked around for a bit; nail polish, facial scrubs, makeup, hair stuff, nails clippers, and finally what I was looking for; small, silver trimming scissors with 2 sharp blades, ready to cut. I put away the rest of the stuff, keeping out the scissors out. I got a towel, not white of course, not that I would let Charlie see anyways. I rolled my sleeve up and turned my left wrist towards me. I opened the scissors and hovered over the spot for a few minutes. Of course, bitch came into play. _Bella! Bella no! Don't you dare! _I ignored her and was still hovering. Could I do it? Could I hurt myself? A hard decision. But I had it made.

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All i want is atleast 10 reviews and ill keep writing!!!

**Well? Should I keep writing?**

**Let me knoww. I dunno. Nothing great.**

**I know, I know. Bella would never do this.**

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**Well. this is my story. so in my world. my story. she would (:**

**please suscribee! and review! more INTENSE shit planned. but hey, if you guys don't like it...**

**thats cool too. hah kay thanks.**

**BPOV:**

_italics are Bella's self concious._

The rest is Bella's thoughts.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two.

BELLA POV.

**I never actually thought I could do this to myself. In every school probably in American, there was at least one teenager who cut themselves. Was there in Forks? Probably not. Everyone in my school was just an ordinary teenager. Then again, I never really took a good look at anyone but my friends and the Cullens. Maybe I would be the first one?**

So many thoughts ran through my head when I was trying to make a decision on what to do. I realized I had no one to talk to, nowhere to go, nothing. My purpose for life was over and has been over. I didn't care what people thought about me these days. I overheard a lot of people whispering about me when I walked down the hallways; only making the emotional pain worse.

It seemed emotional pain was almost as bad as physical pain. I remember once, when I was 12 years old, my mom was cleaning the kitchen and dropped a glass onto the ground. I wasn't even paying attention and stepped right onto a giant chard of glass. It hurt; Bad. This pain was worse. The pain in my mind, the pain in my heart, was ten times worse than the pain of the glass slitting through my foot that day. I had no friends, no boyfriend, no family. It seemed like even my own father didn't bother anymore.

I wanted to cope with this terrible aching pain. If I could get rid of the emotional pain I've felt for so long, for the aching, pulsing, bleeding of a cut, even if it was for 5 minutes, I would defiantly take the risk. I then took a deep breath and make a 3 inch wide cut directly on my wrist. It immediately began gushing the red, sticky blood. I felt guilt. I felt pain. I felt relieve. But I felt more than that. It was painful, there was no escaping that. But it was amazing. It hurt terrible. It was more than pain. It was excruciating. I loved every second of it.

It was like a band-aid that stopped the bleeding in my mind. Once it got too deep, the band-aid wouldn't work anymore; it would fill up and be useless. After that, you get a new band-aid to stop it all over again.

The emotional pain stopped at a halt. I felt relief. Everything that had been wrong in my life, every reason I would have had to dislike my life, every reason I would have had to be sad, mad, angry, annoyed, empty; was suddenly gone. I pushed the throbbing in my wrist aside and focused on the thoughts of how it was like a sudden cure.

I've always read and seen that cutting yourself is a bad thing. How could it possibly be? It felt amazing. And it worked indefinably. I glanced down at the cut and realized that the white towel I put over my wrist was already filled with blood; stupid washrag. I went into the bathroom and got a showering towel this time. I lay there on my bed for a long, long time, amazed at the relief.

After what seemed like only a few minutes, the throbbing, aching pain in my wrist started to subside. I was angry. I didn't want the pain in my mind to come back. Acting quickly, and stupidly, I made another cut facing the other way on my wrist, making an X. This cut felt even more horrible. It was a few mm into my wrist and blood poured out onto the towel. I started to cry because of the pain, but of course, the pain in my head went away like the snap of a finger. I was losing blood quickly and I couldn't breathe from crying so hard. The blood made me feel a little queasy but that wasn't the problem. I couldn't stop the bleeding and it was getting worse. I was feeling light headed and slowly, I began to fade into unconsciousness.

I felt something wet on my face. Oh shit! Charlie found me! I was dead. I slowly opened my eyes to see who was shaking me up and down, left and right, and pouring water on my face. I expected to be into a hospital but I reconized the very familiar bathroom. Above me, hovering, was a big, teenager; Seth Clearwater. I had no idea why he was in my house. Seth was a good kid, nice, but I hardly knew him. I looked around and saw on the ground was sitting Peroxide, scissors, gauze, medical tape, and a few other things. There was also a bandage around my wrist. I managed to choke out a few words to Seth. (she doesn't know they are werewolves yet. but they all are. yah different from the book.)

"Se-e-th" Stutter much Bella? "Wha-at are you doing h-e-re?"

"Bella. Bella are you alright? What were you thinking!" He sounded worried.

"Seth, wha-a-t are you doing in my house?" I didn't want to seem mean, since he did possibly save my life.

"Well, my parents are having dinner with Billy Black tonight. Leah and Jake are going to be there, and me too obviously. Billy asked if we should invite you and your old man. He said it would be a good way to get to know everyone, maybe be friends. I came over here to invite you since my mom told me too. I knocked on the door and no one answered. I heard a real loud sound come from upstairs and then there was nothing but silence. No one answered the door so I got worried. I came upstairs and I found you knocked out on your bedroom door, practically bleeding to death!" It took awhile to regsiter everything he just said. But i got it

"Seth, I'm sorry. But my dads at the station if you want to go get him. Ill be fine, Really." I didn't sound convincing. He probably just didn't want me to kill myself tonight, he would be the suspected murder.

"Bella, you are not fine. You almost died. That's not fine. You need to go to a hospital or something. You need to get help and have time relaxing to heal."

"I'm not going to a hospital and i'm not going to a rehab either!" I raised my voice, almost yelling.

"No, you aren't. You are going to come to my house and stay there for a while. My parents are hardly ever home these days. Neither is Leah. You can't stay here Bella. Charlie will find out." That was the truth and nothing but. Charlie would see the scars if I stayed. I didn't argue.

"What am I supposed to say to him?"

"Tell him you are staying with a friend or something." I just nodded. Too bad I didn't have any friends.

I sat up from laying on the ground and Seth picked me up, like I was weightless, and carried my down the stairs. I picked up the phone, still a little sick, and dialed the station.

"Good afternoon, Forks Police Station. How may I help you?" Denise answered. She was so kind.

"Hey Denise, Can I talk to my dad?"

"Sure thing. One second." I heard her pressing buttons to connect me to my dads office.

Finally, after what seemed forever, he picked up the phone.

"Hey Bells, what's up?"

"Hey Dad. I have a question." I prepared for the lying. I was never good with that.

"Yep."

"Can I go out with Angela for a week or two? Her family is going to a resort in the mountains and wanted to invite a friend for her." Wow. I didn't even talk to her anymore. What a lie.

"Yeah of course you can! If you need any money stop by the station." He sounded so happy I was going to do something. I felt guilty. The pain was coming back.

"Thanks Charlie, Bye!" And then I hung up the phone.

Seth carried me back upstairs laying on my bed. He cleaned up everything and I was grateful for that. I wasn't up for talking, let alone walking and cleaning. He got a small suitcase and pack what seemed like a months worth of clothes. How long was I going to stay? A while, That's for sure. He carried me back downstairs and outside into a small, black car. He looked about 18 or 19, but I knew he was only 14 or 15. He defiantly couldn't drive. But, if he got here in one piece, we would be okay. He put me in the passangers seat, put the keys in the ignition, and started driving away to La Push.

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yehhuppp. thats chapter 2. i know, a little odd.

but i thought bringing seth in would be good.

since no one expected him to be any part of this story.

read and review please.

and favor


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three;;

(:

**Seth POV; 3** (SETHFANN!)

I took Bella into my car and we started driving backto La Push. It wasn't far, about fifteen minutes. I could tell from the look on her face that she didn't think I could drive. Oh well, I knew I wouldn't kill us. Bella didn't say a word the whole car ride. I knew she wasn't upto talking. I felt so guilty, and I don't know why. If I had gotten there a little sooner, maybe she wouldn't have done this. Seeing her laying there unconcious, bleeding, hurt; that was terrible. It would be an image I'd never get rid of. It wasn't my fault, though. I shouldn't blame myself. But yet, I do. I feel so attached to her already, why? I met this girl maybe once in my life, she's no one important to me, but seeing her hurt, killed me. We finally got to my little yellow, house. I took Bella out of the car in one hand, and her suitcase in the other. Bella spoke up for the first time since we'd left.

"Seth is this your house?" She was so quiet, Still in pain, i knew it.

"Yeah. Why is something wrong with it?" I laughed a little at the end. It wasn't a laughing time.

"Oh, No. Seth, I love your house! It's so happy. The flowers are beautiful." She sounded a tad happier now. But the truth was, my house was a happy place to be. It was smack dab in the middle of a little meadow with fresh snow covering the ground, making the scene look like it was from a magazine. The house had a little, stone chimney, with gray smoke coming out, colliding with the clear blue sky. The flowerboxes had plastic flowers in them; roses, daisies, and a few other things. Real flowers would have died. The curtains in the 4 windows in the front of the house were pulled back, and lacy. It was a cute house. If I was a chick, I'd dig it.

We went inside to find Leah sitting on the leather couch watching MTV. She glared at Bella.

"What the fuck is she doing here?" Leah snapped at Bella. She never really did like the girl, who knows why. The bloodsuckers, I guess.

"Leah Mae Clearwater! That was totally uncalled for. Stop being such'a bitch, seriously." I said back to her nonchalantly. I didn't care if I hurt her feelings. It really was just Leah. I looked at Bella who looked a little upset, and overall curious. Leah's nastiness didn't help Bella with her cuts.

"Seth, what is she doing here?" She sounded calmer but I didn't bother answering.

"Answer me now or I'm calling mom. By the looks of it, Bella doesn't look like she wants anyone to know what exactly she is doing here."

"Wow, blackmale? I never thought you'd stoop so low. It's really none of your business. Can I tell you later?" I emphasized later. I would phase to werewolf when Bella was settled and asleep to tell her.

"Yeah, but don't think I'll forget about this!"

"Okay, but don't tell mom or dad Bella's here. Don't let them tell anyone either." Bella would be screwed if the pack told. Someone would leak it to Charlie. I ran off to my room on the second story and opened the door. My room was fairly large; blue walls, king sized bed, but after that, there wasn't much room. My dresser and TV took up most of the space. Bella spoke up again.

"Uh, Seth?" She was sounding a little more composed, less pain.

"Yeah?"

"There is only one bed." She smiled and giggled a little.

"Uh, sorry I forgot about that part. I guess you would rather stay in Leah's room?" I sounded a little sad. Sharing a bed with a girl would be great, even though I knew nothing would happen. I was almost 16, Bella was going on 19.

"Oh, No. I don't mind. It's a big bed. I just don't want anyone to see me in your bed. Things would seem a little strange. Don't you think?" She giggled loudly.

"Yeah, probably. Well, I have a lock on my door. We should be safe." I smiled too. Bella was so easy to get along with. I could already tell she was going to be a great friend. A few hours passed and I was getting really tired. Me and Bella had been sitting on my big, fluffy bed, while we were watcing some movies. I had the heat on, but Bella kept shivering. I guess she would. I just never got cold.

"Bella are you cold?"

"Uhm, no. I'm f-f-iiine." She was wearing nothing but shorts and a tee-shirt. I forgot to pack her warmer pajamas. Whoops. I didn't no how to go about this without seeming like a pervert. I grabbed her and pulled her onto my lap so her legs were stretched out on top of mine,her back leaning against my chest. I put my arms around her stomach and pulled a blanket on top of us.

"That better?"

"Thanks Seth. Much better." I clapped my lights off and we finished the last movie. Bella had fallen asleep on my lap and began breathing lightly. I layed her onto my bed and put all the covers ontop of her. I layed down, pulled a sheet on top of me, and took one last glance at Bella. I slowed fell asleep, still looking at her. I woke up and Bella was getting dressed. She had underwear on and no bra.

**Bellas POV;**

"Ahh! Sorry. Sorry!" Seth turned around and closed his eyes.

"S'okay. You can look now." He slowly turned around and uncovered his eyes. I burst out into a loud laughter.

"Sorry about that. I didn't know you were.. changing."

"Seriously Seth. I don't mind if you look at me naked. Feel free to anytime." I realized last night, that I shouldn't block out everyone. Maybe I could have a little, _fun_, with Seth. He was 16 he said, so it wasn't really that bad. Maybe, just maybe. We could. We afterall, were practically adults living together. Seth looked utterly shocked. He just smiled and nodded.

A few days passed. Seth and I had alot of fun together. During the day we talked and played games, played in the snow, and went for walks. At night we watched movies mainly. This was the time his parents and Leah were home, so we stayed in his room. We had become so close. We really learned alot about each other. I loved him dearly.

One night while we were watching the movie Knocked Up, I decided to try something. I was sitting on Seth's lap again, I often was, since I was always cold. I pulled off his lap to sit right next to him.

He looked a little suprised and confused, but didn't hold me there. I stared deep into his eyes and smiled. I had everything planned. I wanted something and I was going to get it. Well, Some of it.

"Seth, Close your eyes."


	4. Chapter Four

**disclaimer; i don't own twilight, but this story is mine.**

Chapter Four. super long chapter.

**Bella POV;**

I looked over to Seth after watching the movie Knocked Up and wondered. If Seth really was 16, it really wasn't that illegal to kiss? I never actually planned to be more than friends with Seth, but hey, a little pleasure wouldn't be so bad if it distracted me. When I was with Seth, all the pain went away. I don't know why, but I feel like I don't need to hurt myself anymore to take all the pain away. I don't need to cut myself or anything, I just need to be bad. Bad to the bone.

"Seth, Close your eyes." I said in a rather, seductive voice.

"Uh, Why?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Just do it." He obbeyed and slowly closed his eyes; his long eyelashes were gorgeous.

"Don't peak, Sethy." Sethy was sortof a funny name me and Seth came up with one day. I'm Belly, and he's Sethy.

"I won't, I promise." He smiled and then his face slowly relaxed. This was my time.

I slowely got onto my knees while he was still laying there and pressed my lips very, very softly against his. It was really only a peck. I pulled away and he opened his eyes to look at me with them widely.

"Woah, Bella! What was that for!" He didn't sound angry, just shocked.

"You didn't.. Want me to? I just wanted to have a little fun." Well, I guess that was a mistake.

"No, No. That's not it. That was, that, that, that was, that was, amazing." He seemed a little jittery. So, he thought I was amazing. That was so much better. So much. I had to admit, there was a little spark between Seth and I. Nothing close compared to Edward and I, but there was something there.

**Seth POV;**

There we were getting ready for bed one minute, and the next Bella was kissing me. I'd kissed a girl before, but defiantly not an 18 year old. And defiantly not a smokin' 18 year old. It seemed like forever that it actually sunk in that she DID kiss me. Honestly, I liked it. I wanted more. I wanted to sit there and kiss her. I had a little crush on Bella, not gonna lie. But it was a kind that a kid has on a teacher; you like them, but you know it's never gonna happen. I wouldn't do anything that would seem strange to her. If she did like me, I wasn't going to go to fast.  
**A/N; thought i should put that little paragraph in there.**  
**  
Bella POV;**

I honestly did want to keep kissing Seth. I loved being a bad girl. Even though kissing a 16 year old wasn't really bad. Doing something no one expected was fan-fucking-tastic. I didn't want to seem like a petaphile. Oh well. I wasn't going to let this sudden craving and lust go to waste.

"So, would you feel upto a little fun, kiddo?"

"Hell yeahs and I'm NOT a kiddo." I had everything planned in my head. This was going to be the best night of little Seth's life.

"Seth, your parents aren't home right?" I thought Harry and Sue left, who knows.

"Yeah they are out of town. Leah is at her friends house."

"Perfect! Now, where do your parents keep the alcohal?" His eyes buldged out of his head.

"You want me to.. drink?"

"Hell yeah. Big boys drink. You don't want to be a little kiddo forever do you?" He was out of the room and came up with a ton of alcohal.

"These are Leah's. She told me to hide them so she doesn't drink anymore. She'll never know." He still looked a little weary, but smiled. In his hands were a ton of different alcohals; Vodka, Jack Daniels, Mike's Hard Lemonade, beer, Smirnoff, and a few others. It was all stuff that could get you really drunk; really really drunk.

"Do you have any friends that could come over?"

"Yeah, I guess. I could call Jacob Black and his friend that's a girl." Oh yes, perfect.

"Good, good. Call them!"

About half an hour later, Jacob showed up with his friend Gia. I realized Jacob was pretty hot. Muscular and dark, like Seth, but Jacob was different. Gia was pretty, pale like me, clearly not from La Push. I decided to get this show on the road.

"Alright guys, whose up for a drink?" The only person that raised there hand was Gia.

"Oh come on guys, have a little fun. I gave them all a plastic cup filled with 90% Vodka and some fruit drink I found in Seth's fridge. Seth and Jacob seemed a little hesitant but started drinking. It tasted terrible, but it would get us all wasted, that was the plan.

"So, whose up for a little game?" I looked at every individual person to see there response.

"Gia?"

"I'm in most defiantly."

"Jacob?"

"Why not."

"Seth"

"I guess."

"Okay we are going to play a little game!"

"This is going to be stupid."

"Oh come on Jake, be a little more optomistic. It's easy. I'll write down a bunch of dares and a bunch of drinking challanges, put them in a box, and we will take turns picking cards. It could be something like make out with the person next to you, or it could be take 5 shots. You have to do it, and if you don't, well, theres consequences.

"Sounds fucking awesome!" Jake chimed in. We all laughed and the game began. I wrote down a ton of dares and drinking things and put them into a hat. We drew names and Seth was up first, follwed by Gia, Me, then Jake.

"Alright Seth, your up." Seth didn't complain and drew his card.

"What's the damage?" He smiled a very mischevious smile.

"Oh, this is the best card I've ever gotten in my entire life." I knew right then he got the card I hoped the guys wouldn't.

"What is it?" Gia and Jacob both asked.

"Pick any two people in the room to half sex for one hour. You and the other person get to watch." Jacob and Seth looked at each other, nodded and high fived each other.

"Hmm. Gia, Bella. I think you know what you need to do." Seth said. This will be fun. I guess the boys thought it would be funny, and put on the song "I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It." Gia was laying on the bed, back down and put her hand palm up, using her index finger to tell me to come further. I hopped on the edge of the bed and crawled on all fours until I slid my hands up her legs, hips, breasts; wrapping my arms around her neck and straddling her legs. In a few second she pressed her soft, full, pink lips to mine.

I slid my tongue out of my mouth and licked her bottom lip, begging for an entrance. Once she allowed it, she let her tongue escape her mouth. Our tongues went together in motion and slowly danced with each other. She was on top of me now and began pulling up my white cami. She grabbed my hips and pulled up the edges stopping to feel my breasts and pulled the cami all the way off.

After she took my cami off, she undid my lacy, blue bra. She looked at Seth and threw it too him. She took my left breast in her hand and started massaging it. She was sucking and biting on my collarbone and I could tell I was going to have a hickey the next day.

She began kissing down lower and lower until she got to my breast. She sucked on my nipple and I screamed in pleasure.

"Ahhhh. Gia! " I arched my back, urging for more. She stuck her tongue out and licked all the way down to my jeans. Gia undid the button and slid off my blue jeans. My panties were now very wet from the arousal I was receiving. She put her teeth on the edge of my panties and pulled down my underwear with her mouth. I moaned loudly.

"Well, I do believe you have a little too much on, Gia." I pulled off her pink blouse and undid her black bra. I slowly brought my mouth to her nipple and sucked hard and long until she moaned and begged for me to undress her. I went down to her pants and threw them on the floor. I pulled down her panties and threw them to Jacob, still massaging her breast.

"You ready?" I asked her. I slowly spread her legs open and let my tongue enter her pussy. I licked and felt her clit with my fingers. She screamed so loudly and flipped me on top again. She looked at me, kissed my lips and entered her tongue into my mouth. I felt one finger enter inside of me.

"More! MORE!" I felt another finger enter me and then another.

"Gia I'm going to cum!"

"Come on Bella, do it, Cum for me!" I felt my orgasm release and I did it. Gia entered her tongue into my pussy licking out all of the juices that had come out from the orgasm. Just then, the timer rang. Our hour was up. We quickly got dressed again and sat back in the circle. Jacob and Seth just stood there with their mouths hanging open like idiots. I finally spoke up.

"Well, Gia your next."


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five;;**

**Okay guys, I am SO SO SO SO SO sorry it's taken me so freaking long to put up one chapter. I really did intend to get this story going, but I just couldn't get motivated. I finally realized that I'm not a quitter, and I need to finish this story for the people who **_**did**_** like it.**

DISCLAIMER;; i don't own twilight.

Bella POV;

It was Gia's turn to do her dare and we were all waiting anxiously. Jacob and seth had just sat there and watched me and her. That's.. interesting. Oh well. I need to knock this shit off, this isn't me.

Before Gia could even grab her dare, I heard the front door open, then shut. Seth jumped to his feet and ran to open the door. Sue and Harry were home. Shit.

"Seth what the hell! Your parents are supposted to be gone for the weekend!" If I got caught, I was dead. Completely and utterly dead. I claimed I have been with Angela for the past week. My cuts healed enough that I could hide them with a little concealer, but I was really having a good time. I didn't want to go home, not now.

Seth answered me in a frantic tone."They, they are, but! Jesus Bella hide this!" Jake got up and helped me. He winked and then picked up the Patrone of the ground, shuving it underneath Seth's dresser. I went into my bag and got a whole bunch of perfume. I sprayed it all over.

"My room is going to smell like perfume!"

"Perfume is better than alcohal." Gia retorted back.

"Gee, thanks. I'm so happy. Now my mom's gonna think girls were here.'' Okay, Seth? Girls are here smarty.

Sue Clearwater was coming up the steps. I could hear them creaking and I knew we were busted. Jake, Gia, and I all ran into Leah's room and hid in her closet. It was small. There wasn't even enough room for all of us. Gia went in first, then me, then Jake. We made a little noise, but not enough that Sue could hear. We fell and I ended up ontop of Jacob, strattling him. Nice. He winked and I gave him the flirtiest smile I could. I could feel his erection. This must be one testosterone filled male.

Jacob and I stared at each other for a while until we hear Sue open the door to Seth's room.

"Mom, what are you doing home?" Seth wasn't a very good actor, but good enough.

"We left early. It wasn't that fun."

"Oh. I see. Well i'm pretty tired, I guess i'll see you later then. Night mom."

What. The. Hell. Sue just walked right out of the room! No questions, no nothing. I wish Charlie was that cool. Oh no. We were sitting in a closet, with Sue and Harry downstairs, and it was the middle of the night. Fan-fucking tastic.

The alcohal was really starting to kick in and I was getting tired and woosy. Seth walked into Leah's room and said that there was room in his room. I told him I didn't want to move and that I'd just chill in the closet. Jacob decided to stay with me, and Gia went with Seth.

"Well, this is nice." Jake said right before I was falling asleep.

"Yeah, it is, isn't it." It really was nice. Being cuddled up with a boy that was actually my age; almost, and more mature; sortof. I fell asleep on Jacob's chest and didn't wake for a while.

It was light out when I woke up and Jacob was gone. I walked into Seth's room and they were all sitting on Seth's bed watching a movie.

"Morning Bells."

"Hey guys. What time is is? Where's Harry and Sue?" I really hoped we didn't get in any trouble.

"Don't worry, they are gone. It's only noon." Oh thank god.

"What are we doing today?" I wanted to go out, see a movie, go to the beach, something.

"Grandparents" Seth said.

"Projects for Calc." Gia said. Great, I would have to go home. Everyone was busy.

"I'm free. I mean, you could come over or something. Billy is at the board meeting all day." Hmm. That gave me some ideas. I could have fun today. I smiled at Jacob and answered.

"That would be great. Wanna get going?" The sooner the better, I thought.

"Sure, lets go." We said bye to Gia and Seth and walked out of the house. I hoped I would get to see Gia again, she was really awesome.

"Do you want to go to the beach first or something?"

"Sure, I'd love too!" It seemed warm enough. We started walking towards the end of the beach. There was literally not one person out right now. Odd. Jacob walked to a rock, sat down, and took his jeans off. He was wearing plaid boxers. I had a weak spot for boys with plaid underwear. I followed, taking off my shirt and jeans. I was wearing a blue lace bra, and underwear to match it. I ran the entire way to the end of the beach and then felt the warmness of the water.

"It's really warm. Come on!" Jacob ran into the water and made a big splash. We joked around, laughing and having fun for hours. I really was starting too like Jacob. He was so easy to get along with. I could see myself becoming good friends with him. Before I knew it, the sun was going down.

"We better get going. Seth will wonder where you're at." I frowned, it was nice to be with someone other than Seth.

"Or, I could stay with you? Just for tonight, you know."

"Uh. Yeah, I guess you could sleepover. Billy doesn't really check on me. He can't. He'll go straight to his room." Even better. I called Seth and he said it was fine. His parents were home anyways.

Jake and I walked to his house and I was soaking wet.

"Do you need something to change into?"

"Yeah.. that would probably be helpful." He came out of his room with a tee-shirt and a pair of boxers.

"I'll step out so you can.. change." Hm..

"Oh no, don't. You can stay." I looked up and him, giggled, and then pulled down my underwear. He gawked his mouth falling open. I put on the boxers and then put one hand behind my back to unclasp my bra. It fell to the ground and I slowly, very slowly, bent down to get it.

"Woops, didn't mean to drop it." I said in a very seductive voice. He was getting hot. I put on the tee-shirt and it was about 10 sizes too big. Oh well. Boys loved it when girls wear there clothes.

"So, Jakey, why don't we take this" I gestured to my body. "to your bedroom?" He just stared at me, wide eyed, and nodded.

Let the fun begin.

**well, this was really just a filler. I wanted to get Bella's bad girl side going, and this was a sure fire way. It's short, like the other chapters, but the newer chapters will be much longer. I'm also working on a new story about Seth. Read and REVIEW.**

**Please don't just read it, favor it, and then not review. it bugs the shit outta me. if you don't want to review, don't read my story. (:**


	6. Authors Note Three

Okay just to clear up the questions.

1) No, she doesn't want more of Gia. hahah. she thinks it's nice to have friends after everything she went through, and she thinks Gia could be a good friend.

2)No, Bella and Jacob aren't getting together. Not in the near future atleast. Right now, i'm just trying to get to Bella's bad side. Ya know? Okay, good. Haha.

3)I'm not saying if Bella and Seth are getting together yet. I don't want it to be creepy. In this story he is like 15 or 16. Bella is 18. So maybe, but I don't know. If Bella has a boyfriend, it will really take away alot of things in the story.

Review this A/N if you want Seth/Bella

Jacob/Bella

New Character/Bella

Single Bella.

keep reviewing and favoring (:

it's what keeps me motivated.


	7. Chapter Six

_Where we left off: So, Jakey, why don't we take this" I gestured to my body. "to your bedroom?" He just  
stared at me, wide eyed, and nodded._

I don't own twilight.

**Chapter Six:**

Slowly, I walked into Jacob's room and sat on his bed. He followed just as slow. He seemed rigid.  
I didn't know what was causing it.

"Jake, is something…wrong?" I hesitated. I wasn't sure I could take rejection right now. I knew I  
wasn't irresistible, but I thought a horny 17 year old, single boy would want to get some. Could I have  
thought wrong? I thought of Mike Newton and all of his horn ball ways. I couldn't even fathom how  
many times that boy tried to get in my pants. Maybe the new and _improved_ Bella would let him.

Jacob finally answered. I guess it didn't take him long, I just was lost in my thoughts.

"No. I'm just… I uh… never did this before." I laughed a long, hard chuckle.

"Do you think you're going to mess up or something." I laughed again. He blushed and he looked  
like a little boy, despite his big muscular figure. He nodded, proving my little theory true.

"Awe, that's cute." He put his head down in shame, as if I was making fun of the poor kid.

"I'm not insulting you. A little sensitivity never hurt anyone." We both laughed. I was tired of this  
little charade, I wanted to do something.

"Why don't you get your sexy ass over here." He smiled and then walked over and sat down next  
to me. I stood up, pushing him onto the bed. I strattled his waist and eagerly pressed my lips against  
his. I licked his bottom list and hoped he got the hint. He opened his mouth and our tongues fought for  
dominance. He won and his tongue explored the inside of my mouth.

We broke away for air and he continued kissing me; my chin, my collarbone, my jaw. I moaned  
loudly inside his mouth and he followed. We continued kissing for a while until I wanted more and I  
assumed he did, too. I tugged on his shirt while still kissing him and he leaned up allowing me to pull it off.  
By what he did, he showed me how incredible strong he really was. If a boy could hold up his entire torso  
without using any part of his arms, well I'll be damned.

I had to be completely honest with myself, I had never done anything sexual. Edward was so worried  
about hurting me that we never had done anything more than kiss, and even with that, I could feel his  
restraint, his confidence low. He could never just relax and feel what he wanted without having the urge to  
kill me. While with Jacob, he had nothing but the urge to fuck me. And vise-versa.

From the time I met Jacob, to the time I was with Seth, back to the time I tried to kill myself, I had to  
say I was making a very promising life style out of nothing. Edward left me broken. Seth found me and put  
me back together. Jacob found me put back together, but not fixed, and then put the glue in the cracks.

Jacob had moved his hands to my shirt and I felt his warm hands travel up the sides of my stomach. I  
looked over at him and saw one bead of sweat travel down his body and settle onto his muscular figure.  
And then it was like his whole body kicked into overdrive. He moved more aggressively and roughly.

_And I fucking loved it._

My hands moved to his pants and I quickly removed them. He was wearing black satin boxers and I could  
see his growing erection through them.

* * *

Jacob POV

There I was sitting with the fucking sexiest girl I knew. Not just sitting there, making out with the fucking  
sexiest girl I knew. And soon to be not sitting there, but having real actual sex. I've made out with a few girls,  
but not like this. Those girls weren't shirtless and I wasn't in nothing but my boxers. Damn this was good.

I moved my hands down to her tight ass and pulled my boxers off of her, leaving her completely naked  
with nothing but her bra on. She was gorgeous, and innocent, and amazing. I loved this girl, and I didn't  
even know it. From the minute we met, to the days we made mud pies together, to today, seeing her before  
my very eyes, I loved her.

She took my boxers off at the same time I undid the clasp on her bra. We were laying completely naked  
on my tiny bed and I prayed Billy wouldn't be home for a long, long time.

"Ugh, Jake." I loved hearing her small moans. I wanted her to moan because of me. I wanted her to  
scream my name.

"Mhm, Bella, I want to hear you." Seriously could my life get any better? Bella fucking Swan sitting in _my_  
bedroom, moaning _my_ name. I didn't know how far she was willing to go with me. Was she willing to give me a  
hand job, or a blow job, or have sex? I hoped so. Bella was never one to do bad things. That bloodsucker must  
have really done her in. I was getting worried, and wondering what exactly she was using me for. Was she  
using me to get back at him? Or was she using me for her to get over him? I didn't ponder those options long  
enough to care.

In that hour we did nothing but kiss and touch tenderly while laying there. That was until the animal side  
of me took over and I did something I never thought I would have done.

**Bella POV: **

Making out with Jacob Black was incredible. He was such a good kisser it was unrealistic. We laid for a good  
hour until Jacob took things to the next step. He moved his hands from my hair and the small of my back to my  
hips. He moved his hands slowly up and grabbed my breasts in his hands. He began moving them and touching  
them in ways that made me scream in passion.

He grabbed my left nipple in his hand, rolling it while he continued to squeeze my other breast.

"Ungh. Yes Jake. Ugh!." I thrust my hips up and begged him to touch me more; harder. I loved his touch.  
I wanted it. And I wanted to return the favor.

I was underneath him when he rolled me to the top so I was kneeling over his stomach, my center  
completely open.

"Bella, I'm going to try something now. Is that okay?" I wanted him to touch me. I wanted him to feel how  
wet I was for him. I wanted to take him inside of me right now. But I decided to let him take control; for now.

"Mmmm, yes. Touch me Jacob. Do whatever you want to me. Please. I want you." He followed by a long  
hard moan. He moved his hands from my breasts, down my stomach, and put one hand on the small of my back.  
He kissed me and moved his other hand down to my pussy. He inserted one finger into me and began thrusting  
it back and forth; back and forth.

"Bella you're so wet for me. Your beautiful." I loved hearing him talk.

"Only for you. Please - another - finger. More Jake. Ungh." I tried to say between my heavy pants. He put  
two more fingers into me and thrust his fingers harder into me.

"Cum for me, Bella." I wanted to. "I'm so close!" He began talking dirty to me and that sent me over the  
edge. My orgasm ripped through my body and I thrashed and ground my hips into him. He smiled and licked his  
fingers.

"You taste incredible Bella." I lay there panting and having the want for more. I got on top of him once again  
and moved my hands all the way down his body until my hands were laying on his thighs. I looked up at him,  
asking permission to touch him there.

"God yes. Do whatever the fuck you want." I grabbed his balls in both of my hands and massaged them  
carefully; firm and rough, but gentle enough not to hurt him. I continued what I was doing and opened my mouth,  
taking his length in. I bobbed my head back and forth until he was thrusting his hips up and down.

"Oh god, Ughh, NGHH! Bella your- ungh- so good. Harder- please!" Jacob panted. I took more of his length  
into my mouth with every thrust until I opened my throat and took his entire member into my mouth. He screamed  
my name and it sent a new rush of wetness to my center. There was such chemistry, such an attraction between  
us. I wondered how far it would actually go.

"Bella I'm going to- I'm so, mmh, close!" I wanted to taste him now. It was my turn. His orgasm went through  
his body and he came. I tasted his warm cum in my mouth and I craved it. It tasted like wine to an alcoholic.  
I swallowed. I wasn't going to be a pussy and spit. I'm a tough girl and I swallow. He took his cock out of my mouth  
and we laid on the bed panting.

"Wow." He finally said.

"Wow." I repeated. That seemed like a pretty appropriate word for the situation. It was so great it deserved  
a million Wows. I suddenly had the urge to smoke a cigarette. I didn't smoke, nor did I ever want to, but now I  
craved a cigarette.

"Do you know where I can get some cigarettes, Jake?" He looked at me bewildered.

"Since when do you smoke?" He didn't say it meanly, but it hurt a little. It was as if he was disgusted.

"Since I got fingered by my childhood best friend and since I started giving ball massages and blowjobs." I  
kinda sounded like a bitch. But not enough that I think he cared. He started laughing and I couldn't keep a straight  
face. I started cracking up and we laughed together in harmony; soprano and bass. I never did get my cigarettes,  
but that was fine by me. Jake and I continued to lay there just holding each other. I took a shower while he made  
me dinner. It wasn't the best I've ever eaten to be honest, but I appreciated it. It made me happy to know someone  
cared enough to do something like that for me. It made me happy. But it made me sad.

Jacob Black was getting the wrong idea. I used him, as much as I hated to admit it. I used my best friend and  
he thought I was falling for him. A tear came to my eye and I couldn't bare to look at him anymore. I slammed away  
from the little table in his kitchen and ran out the front door into the pitch black night. I lay there for a long time in the  
rain, crying until Jacob came and found me.

"Bella?" He asked quietly; almost a whisper.

"I- I- I'm s-s-oo." I tried to say I'm so sorry but it came out sounding like nothing.

"Bella if you are trying to say you're sorry don't even bother. This was one of the best days of my life. I don't  
regret anything. And if you think for a minute you should, think again." He was right. Even if I wasn't in love with  
Jacob, I did love him. And that was enough; for now. He carried me back to his house and set me down in his bed.  
I didn't want to get it wet but I couldn't object.

_ He got a blanket and settled down next to me where I fell asleep in Jacob Blacks arms._

_

* * *

_

Well guys, what do you think? Sorry I took so long, but it's summer now, so be prepared for lots of updates. :D


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